On Monday I forgot my notebook. I was lost without it, and spent the day fluffing around, not getting anything done of any substance. On the previous Friday I had bussed and walked home from work with my head pounding with ideas - in fact, my whole body seemed full of my novel (it is a most curious sensation, anyone else had it?) and when I got home I had to lock myself in the toilet and scribble wildly before I could disengage and greet the family.
But on Monday, on the way home, nothing. Wondering what was for dinner maybe.
My probem on that day wasn't that I didn't know what the story was, or that I didn't know what needed researching (although I had made a list of books to get out of the library in my notebook). It was just that without my notebook, I couldn't transport myself back to that place of total supplication I had been in on Friday.
I have trouble enough with the beginning of the week. The weekend always deflates me, and Fridays are by far my most vigorous day, but without my notebook, I couldn't even begin the process of building up the momentum again. That 1B5 exercise book carries my creative life between its thin, blue- and red-lined sheets. I'm using it right now, scribbling away (believe me, it is a scribble - I don't think anyone else could decipher it) in a cafe over a coffee and a bagel, and I will type this into blogger when I get to the office. It's my companion at lunch and coffee time. I will never be lonely as long as I have my 1B5. It makes me feel smart. It's a good listener. I am lost without it.
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4 comments:
i hear you loud and clear - have had that 'novel inhabiting body feeling'. I feel about my ideas notebook the same, it is the map back when the world has taken over
Ode to a 1B5
It sounds like your notebook has become a kind of Talisman for your novel.
They are precious things, these notebooks, although mine is a little more flashy than a 1B5 - it's a lurid lime green - chosen so I could locate it easily amongst the piles of er, shall we kindly say, stuff inhabiting all the wooden surfaces in my home.
I haven't had to resort to locking myself in the loo though!
i am with Vanda, my notebook for ideas, my map is green too, has stains all over it - I choose it because I would be able to find it in my handbag ( why are the interiors of handbags always black!) - it is stained terribly, almost 3 years of this novel and it has done some travelling ....
Forgot to mention Rachael that I think it great you use the loo as writing retreat, sometimes it is the one place where no one will follow you - good for a quick gathering of oneself. I did read once, though not sure if accurate that Nabakov wrote alot on the loo or bidet in Paris in the early years, though he used it as a table with a plank of wood across....how about that for a room of ones own....
Funny, I have a 2B5, it makes me feel smart too ;) I hope I never loose it because it contains things I'm sure will be very important one day...
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